Sunday, September 03, 2006

Pay Dirt: Religious Funnies

This is my inaugural "Pay Dirt" entry. In The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, the phrase "pay dirt" refers to "a useful or profitable discovery or venture". So I will use these "Pay Dirt" entries to capture interesting nuggets I come across.

Today's "Pay Dirt" entry contains a few religious funnies...

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
-Emo Philips, stand-up comedian

"I don’t believe in atheists."
-Neal Boortz

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
-Peter O’Toole

Bart: "What religion are you?"
Homer: "You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uhh, Christianity."
-The Simpsons, "Homerpalooza"

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
- George Burns.

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
- Jim Carrey

"I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album."
- Rita Rudner

"Where would man be today if it wasn't for women? In the Garden of Eden eating water melon and taking it easy."
- C Kennedy


Anonymous said...

Funny stuff.
That Kennedy quote has to go though. :-) That's what men are doing ANYHOW.

Just dropping in to say I have enjoyed reading your blog. It is beautifully lucid,systematically organized, and shows an admirable sincerity in the search for meaning in what we sometimes (too hastily) decide is a meaningless and dismal universe.

I am not a theologian, by any stretch of the imagination, but I was impressed by the number of sources you bring to the table here and the depth with which you seem to have read them.

By the way - the photo of the packs a real emotional punch, one of the most uplifting I have seen. Are you also a photographer?

"Is-ness without limits." I had never heard this before (Keating) and I like it too, pointing as it does to the undefinable. I find it very interesting simply that Man has forever been compelled to seek definition for this Ineluctable Mystery down through the ages.

The permanence of this quest - the fact that it seems to be an ongoing and infinite pursuit - for me, says something about us, the human, as well as about a possible cosmic Creator.

I've bookmarked you and hope to return frequently.

The way I feel is that this blog may be primarily your personal search...but I think I (or anyone else) can also learn a lot from your efforts here.

Thanks for provoking thought.

Cold Molasses said...

Thanks for the kind words Anonymous...I appreciate them.

I just found a bunch of those pictures...unfortunately I can't take credit as the photographer...I wish.

Please visit regularly. I look forward to your comments and thoughts.